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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27619912">Five Times Diego Realised He Was Different</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyghostie/pseuds/tinyghostie'>tinyghostie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Umbrella Academy (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abusive Reginald Hargreeves, Allison is Mean, Crossdressing, Emotional Hurt, Five is mean, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Identity, Gender Roles, Good Parent Grace Hargreeves, Homophobia, Human Grace Hargreeves, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Luther Hargreeves Being an Asshole, Pansexual Klaus Hargreeves, Puberty, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting, Shaming of gender expression, Sorry Allison, Trans Diego Hargreeves, Trans Male Character, Transphobia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 05:00:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,140</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27619912</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyghostie/pseuds/tinyghostie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Diego said he wanted to be a boy too.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Five Times Diego Realised He Was Different</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first time that Diego realised he was different was when he and his siblings took a bath.</p><p>Five, Vanya, Luther and Ben had already taken their bath, and were tucked up in bed, and now Diego, Allison and Klaus were taking theirs. One thing Diego had noticed about himself was that he was more like Allison than anyone else.</p><p>Diego always took baths with Allison and Klaus. It was just how it was. And therefore, they were the only two people Diego had seen naked, aside from himself.</p><p>Allison didn’t really have anything down there, but Klaus had a thing. Diego had asked about Klaus’ thing, and Grace had said it was normal for Klaus to have a thing down there.</p><p>Diego asked why he didn’t have a thing, and Grace said it was because he was a girl.</p><p>That couldn’t be right.</p><p>Klaus said that Diego was just jealous of his thing.</p><p> </p><p>The second time that Diego realised he was different was when he noticed that he was dressed differently to his brothers.</p><p>A skirt wasn’t any fun. It was itchy and long, and sometimes when he sat with his legs crossed, people could see his underwear, and he didn’t like that one bit.</p><p>He asked Grace if he could wear shorts instead.</p><p>She said she didn’t see why not.</p><p>Reginald saw why not.</p><p>Diego asked Grace why he couldn’t wear shorts. She explained that it was because he was a girl. Diego didn’t like that at all, and he said a few naughty words that got him ten minutes in the time-out corner. But while he was sulking in the corner, a thought crossed his mind.</p><p>“Klaus is a boy, and he wears skirts.” He said, once he came out of the time-out corner.</p><p>Grace thought about this, and told Diego that it was because Klaus was a special sort of boy.</p><p>Diego said he wanted to be a special sort of boy.</p><p>Grace thought about this too.</p><p>After a lot of persuasion, Reginald let Diego wear shorts. They would be more practical to wear for training, after all. But he wasn’t allowed to wear shorts when they went out.</p><p>Reginald said he didn’t want him looking like… and then he said a word that made Grace look shocked and Pogo sigh disapprovingly.</p><p>Diego decided he didn’t want to be one of those.</p><p> </p><p>The third time that Diego realised he was different was when he got nits.</p><p>Grace had to get rid of the nits with nasty, smelly shampoo that felt burny and weird. Luther laughed. Luther never got nits. The boys didn’t get nits. Boys were immune.</p><p>That was what Diego decided. At first, he thought his hair wasn’t curly enough- Klaus never got nits, and his hair was curly! But Allison got nits one time, and she had curly hair too.</p><p>Then, he thought that his hair was too dark- the nits couldn’t see the exit. He even went as far as putting fairy lights in his hair, but then he realised that Ben’s hair was even darker than his, and Ben <em>never </em>got nits.</p><p>Vanya, Allison and Diego had all gotten nits at least once. They were all girls. That was the problem. And the solution was to stop being a girl. If Diego could stop being a girl, he could easily get rid of his nit problem.</p><p>He decided that the first step in becoming a boy was to cut his hair. All boys had short hair! Even Pogo!</p><p>Grace said it was a shame that he cut his lovely hair.</p><p>Diego never got nits again.</p><p> </p><p>The fourth time that Diego realised he was different was when they were given the Talk.</p><p>Diego, Vanya, and Allison were ushered out of the room so that Grace could talk to them about growing up. Diego had assumed they were going to be told about tax, and parking tickets, and other boring grown-up stuff.</p><p>This prediction was far from accurate.</p><p>Instead, they were educated on how they were going to get fat and ugly, and practically bleed to death once a month. Vanya cried. Diego almost did. Allison didn’t. Of course she didn’t. Why would she? She wasn’t like Diego. She was a real girl, who didn’t chop all her hair off, or steal shorts from the boys to wear when Reginald’s back was turned.</p><p>As they headed back to their rooms (in Diego’s case, to dread the changes that would supposedly happen any minute now) they spotted the boys, leaving a different class in fits of giggles, and an exhausted looking Pogo.</p><p>Diego was confused- hadn’t the boys had the same talk as them? Were they shown a comedy programme instead? It wasn’t fair! They didn’t look distraught! They didn’t look miserable, or ashamed, or embarrassed, they weren’t filled with dread or anxiety! They were laughing!</p><p>“What did Pogo talk to you about?” Vanya asked, wiping her eyes with her sleeve.</p><p>“Oh, just boy stuff. You girls wouldn’t understand.” Five told them.</p><p>Ouch. That hurt. A lot more than Five intended it to, probably. Diego wasn’t sure why he didn’t feel like a girl. Maybe it was because he hadn’t gotten all the womanly curves that he was told he would develop. Maybe he was going to grow up to be a man instead. That would be excellent! Maybe if Diego grew up to be a man, Five would tell him what they learnt about in that talk. Diego imagined Five telling him what they learnt about. Maybe it was the funniest joke in the world, and only boys got to know it!</p><p>Diego smiled to himself.</p><p>“I don’t know why you’re smiling. You’re a girl too.” Allison went into her room.</p><p> </p><p>The fifth time Diego realised he was different was when Klaus’ thing did a thing.</p><p>They’d been eating in silence, when they heard his fork clatter to the ground, his eyes widening. He got up and ran out of the room, and it took all the siblings’ willpower to not speak after that happened.</p><p>After the meal, they all went to find Klaus. Klaus was lying in his room, upset, so they went away again. Luther said that his thing was doing a thing and that they should leave him alone. Ben said he hoped his thing never did a thing. Five said it was completely natural for boys’ things to do things, and he shouldn’t be afraid of it.</p><p>Even Allison seemed to know what was going on.</p><p>Diego didn’t. He asked what was happening.</p><p>“Just a boy thing.” Five said again.</p><p>“Will it happen to me?” Diego asked.</p><p>“No, of course not, stupid. You’re a girl.” Luther scoffed.</p><p>That was when Diego realised that Klaus had been right all those years ago in the bath.</p><p>Diego <em>was </em>jealous of his thing.</p>
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